Help for single parents is a necessity in today's society. In 2000,
the US Census Bureau of Household and Family Statistics reported
that single parents accounted for 27% of family households with
children under 18-years of age. And one out of two children will
live in a single parent family at some point during their childhood.
It is noteworthy, therefore, to address the unique family and social
needs of the divorced and single parents.
Quality Family Time
The daily routine in most broken family households can be hectic.
The majority of single parents work outside the home.
Aside from the need to re-establish some sort of normal daily routine
to help children regain their footing, a child’s social needs
and quality family time are also important.
Because one parent now must strive to fill a two parent role at
least during weekdays, spare time is precious. Creative ways to
enjoy family fun and quality time together are a must.
Having children help with Saturday chores and errands, for instance,
can be fun. It can also provide opportunity for positive reinforcement
of family unity and working together to accomplish tasks.
The sweet reward of a family picnic, watching a family movie while
eating pizza, or another type of family fun is the perfect topper.
Helping the Insecure Child
Split households often affect children negatively; at least in
the beginning. One good way to help an insecure child better adjust
to the new family structure is to allow them to talk about their
feelings.
Getting up early Sunday morning, for instance, and having breakfast
together at the table provides an excellent opportunity for family
talks. Turn the telephone off to reduce the risk of interruptions;
omit television and other distractions. Each family member in turn
should be encouraged to share what is on their mind.
Sprinkling praise with correction can help increase a child’s
self-esteem, which will help them feel less insecure; mix 2 parts
praise with 1 part correction. For instance, (praise) “I
really like the way you’ve been keeping your room picked up,”
(correction) “Could you please try to keep your coat and
boots in the closet where they belong,” (praise) “Thank
you, I really appreciate your help.”
Single Parent Social Needs
Despite the fact you have your child’s emotional and social
needs to take into consideration, you also have your own. Juggling
job and family without the help of a spouse can be taxing. By reserving
time for yourself each week you reduce the risk of “burn out.”
You also benefit your children by being happier and less stressed.
The tips below can help:
- Accept the fact that there will be times when things are less-than-perfect.
As a single parent you cannot “do it all,” no matter
how hard you try.
- Don’t feel guilty about seeking to fulfill your social
needs. It is healthy for you and your children to enjoy alone
time, and cultivate friendships outside the family.
- Allow time for yourself each week; treat yourself to a movie
with friends, go out on a date, have your nails done, or enjoy
a bubble bath.
- Benefit from contact with others who understand the challenges
of being a single parent first hand. Join a local single parents group; or an
online resource that connects single parents, for friendship or
dating purposes.
Lastly, single parent dating calls for wisdom. Go slow; avoid persons
who would make a poor role model for your children. Avoid introducing
a date to your children prematurely. Allow yourself adequate time
to get to know the person first.
Respect and honor yourself as a single parent. And above all else,
respect your children’s feelings; help them to always feel
they are an important part of your life.